Friday, March 14, 2014

Small Rant: Model issues

I posted this on my facebook page but I wanted to create this post to elaborate more on it. Into a more positive note.

If having a model that wears all black,dark colors, heavy makeup, and/or false lashes suddenly hinders your abilities as an ARTIST! I.e painter, drawing, sculpting, or photography work. Then do me a favor and just use another model. What's the point of hiring a Gothic/alternative model if you aren't okay with their lifestyle choices. Yes the way I dress is apart of who I am as a person. My hair, makeup, tattoos, style is not a costume, not for an event, a party, or anything else. What you see is what you get. If that seems to hinder your ability as an artist in anyway. DON'T work with me. No I'm not dying my hair to any "natural" colors anytime soon. No I am not covering my tattoos. No I will not buy/wear icky colorful "normal" clothes. If I see fit for a look to wear a wig then sure. But not because some asshole told me I'd look prettier with longer hair. End rant! Good morning too all.

How people would prefer me to be 

I only posted this due to reactions and retorts from various people that I have worked with over the years. I've noticed that the more "Alt" I look more reactions I receive. It seems that people in general were nicer  to me and more understanding when I didn't look so outwardly different. Meaning I can easily be changed or made to blend in simply by putting me in regular clothes. No Colorful hair, or fading colorful hair, no tattoo's, no partially shaved head no mohawk, or anything different. It seems that people outside of the scene don't really understand that how I choose to portray myself outwardly is a reflection of my inner being fully. I used to think that it was because I was a teenager. But even now in my twenties people still don't understand. 

Me with a Faux Hawk fading from red 

I am who I am. This is my lifestyle choice. I choose to self decorate in any and every way that I can, because I can. It's not for a party, event, day, special event, parade, night out, to impress or piss off the masses. I am not apart of any religion or cult that makes me do these things. I have tattoos because It's my skin and I can do whatever I please with it. That doesn't mean that I don't like the way I look because I keep changing it. Or that I have deeply rooted insecurities or self hate issues. 

When my hair was red 

I choose to dye my hair every once in a while, because I can. Because it's available for me to do. It's a form of self expression and another way for me to self decorate. I'm well aware that I tend to wear lots of heavy dark makeup. That doesn't mean that I hate the way I look and I'm attempting to trick people into thinking I'm pretty by really pilling it on. No, Makeup is an accessory just like any other. I prefer to wear mines a little bit heavier and creative than most on an average, everyday basis. It's a form of art and self expression. Yes I shaved off my eyebrows and I continue to do so almost everyday before applying makeup on. I simply want to control the shape, placement, and style of my eyebrows. 

On my Model Mayhem profile I try to be as clear and descriptive as possible without coming off as snotty, full of myself, or just down right rude. I try to be as careful as I possibly can be on how I choose to communicate with people especially on a professional basis. It's not always easy or always do-able. 

My Green Hair 

I understand people may not be interested in shooting with Alternative models or may not understand the scene or anything. I understand that where I am and what the market for people like me looks like. It's slim to nothing almost. But I do however find creative and talented people to work with. When I do, I prefer to work with them first and foremost for any projects I may have in mind and be very direct when shooting or working with new people. 

Fading from Green hair pinup look

Yes, I would say that all of the above is true about me and my appearance. I would also add that 90% of my wardrobe is all black and/or dark colors. To me that shouldn't be a problem if you agree to work with me, especially if you are the one who approached me and you found me on my Model Mayhem account. 

Before I shaved my sides and eyebrows and my hair was dyed black

No I will not change or alter myself for anyone or anything that makes me feel uncomfortable in any way. I refuse to work with anyone who attempt's to destroy my creativity. I don't mind not taking work from that client if it means that I avoid feeling uncomfortable and ending up with an undesirable outcome. Please just use another model if it really bothers you that much and hinders your ability to create. 

My current look set for

On  positive note, I have found some very talented and creative people to work with and more to come. I look forward to working with other creative and talented people who share similar visions. I am doing more of the work that I would like to do for magazine submissions and sets for Collaborating with a list of models, photographers, designers, and makeup artist for various projects. I'm much more interested in designing costumes, accessories, alternative/gothic fashion creations and all around wearable art. Which is partially why I started modeling in this field in the first place. So idiots are not going to stop my vision and it's never to late to start living the life I want to live. I am very grateful to all of the wonderful, creative, and talented people that I have worked with over the years who have accepted me for who I truly am with no complaints about my look, lifestyle, or anything.  Thank You all. 


  1. Hi! I've just found your blog, and I think it's amazing that you're able to stand by who you are, and be yourself and all. You're so gorgeous, and you seem like a great model. This post is pretty inspiring, thanks for posting :) p.s. I love your makeup and colourful hair!

    1. Thanks so Much! Ravenna. I'm glad I inspire you in some way. Sorry for the last response. I haven't been on this blog in like forever